maybe part of the problem is that I fill my time with tv shows, and then feel like I have to get on tumblr and look at pictures and gifs of these shows.
I could be reading. I could be drawing. I could be exploring
When did I ever get so reliant on an internet site?
I don’t even know how to detox though? - I have blocked the site numerous times for exams, revision and lent, but then I’ve come back on and it’s the same - only one time did I get close to not coming back, as I had the same realisation then, that I am having again now.
I am 19 years old, studying at university. My first year has gone past in a flash, and it only goes quicker - I’m going to have to actually sort my life out soon and be determined to forage a future for myself in the hard economic and career times. I therefore need a great portfolio and experience, and that only comes with lots of work and practicing - am I practicing? - no I’m not. not really. I should practice at least once a day. But I get so easily disheartened with my work.
I am a perfectionist and it’s hard to be around so many amazing artists and designers and be simulataneously inspired, but then also so put down as you can’t ever get there yourself -
WRONG. I could get there. Not there because no one’s artwork is ever the same. But to be at a level of quality and actual skill, I could if I work hard and practice.
I don’t want to just cut tumblr out my life because it has pretty pictures, and is always inspiring me with all it’s illustrators and photography on here. It is fun to let your hair down every now and again and reblog the odd funny gif, or spam a bit of your favourite tv show or film
- tv, film, music, photography, design - they are all out there to inspire our own work, and therefore I don’t want to cut myself off from such a great source; but I should also be inspired by nature, the world, people and what is just outside my bedroom door.
I need to take in the space and not be so controlled by a website or my laptop. I need freedom to work and improve constantly.
Hopefully by writing this all down I am telling myself to get yo ass into gear and sort yourself out. To put solidity to all the thoughts I have about tumblr and my future.
Hopefully something good will come out of this?